A Tale of Two Losers

 In years to come, when archaeologists are prowling through the ruins of our civilization and wondering how it all happened, I would offer this snapshot. Here’s the history of America’s longest war in two anti-American losers, John Walker Lindh and Bowe Bergdahl, confused young men with a gaping hole at the heart of where their sense of identity should be, stumbling through the Hindu Kush trying to “find themselves”.

In the fall of 2001, the first confused anti-American loser trying to find himself, John Walker Lindh was on the enemy’s side – and was tried, convicted and jailed for life.

By the spring of 2014, the last confused anti-American loser of the Afghan war, Bowe Bergdahl, was on our side – and was honored by the President with a family photo-op in the Rose Garden and declared by the laughably misnamed “National Security Advisor” to have “served the United States with honor and distinction”.

~Meanwhile, the White House spinners and briefers have finally found a formulation for the so-called Obama Doctrine in foreign policy: “Don’t do stupid shi*t.”

As you’ll recall, the domestic policy of the United States was most pithily distilled by the Vice-President in a stage whisper to his boss during the signing of Obamacare: “This is a big f**kin’ deal.” So between them we have a fairly thorough characterization of Obama policy: f**kin’ at home, shi*t abroad. The Republic of Asterisks.

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