Sen. Rand Paul took to Twitter today in his second annual “airing of grievances” in celebration of Seinfeld’s trademark holiday, Festivus.
HAPPY FESTIVUS! May ur pole be straight, ur feats be strong your grievances be few. With love from the Costanzas – Frank, Estelle, George
— jason alexander (@IJasonAlexander) December 23, 2014
The Kentucky senator expressed his discontent with wasteful spending, poked fun at Sens. Harry Reid, D-Nev., and Marco Rubio, R-Fla., jeered the media and most notably, hinted at a 2016 presidential run.
Christmas is a time for joy. For sharing blessings w/family friends. It is not a time to air grievances. That’s what #Festivus is for. — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
I’ve got a lot of problems with you people (mostly in DC), and today you’re going to hear about it! Stayed tuned for #Festivus grievances — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
And so it began…
First, politics in general: As a Doctor, I was trained first to do no harm. Wouldn’t it be nice if politicians started from that premise? — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
But we get”politics is the art of looking 4 trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectlyapplying wrong remedies.” #Festivus — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
Paul then pointed to his bipartisan efforts with New Jersey Sen. Cory Booker, D – N.J.
Last year in the spirit of #Festivus, I reached out to @CoryBooker complaining he didn’t RT me enough. He still doesn’t by the way. But… — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
We discussed hemp, med marijuana, crim justice reform. Some of that has now passed, all of it we’ve worked on together this year #Festivus — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
My grievance there though remains the same. Not enough looking for agreement in Washington. @CoryBooker and I will keep trying.#Festivus
— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
He then swiveled to his own party, joking about his colleagues’ fashion statements.
On to my side of the aisle…#Festivus — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
No matter how many times I ask @Team_Mitch, he won’t let me borrow this awesome sweater vest pic.twitter.com/VACHu6RdVY
— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
We all know having a fashion forward campaign is important to success, as @RickSantorum showed us in 2012 #Festivus pic.twitter.com/qAeGIp2wpo — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
All leading up to the potential announcement, generating a firestorm of speculation across the media.
Of course, everyone has to be themselves, and I have my own style. I think this will be a popular item this year pic.twitter.com/ejuPwOAb6E — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
This year @MotherJones named me best dressed in Washington. Of course everyone else is wearing a blue suit, so it isn’t really a contest. — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
But he quickly moved on to tease Rubio, another 2016 potential who stole headlines this week for contesting Paul’s support of Obama’s Cuban plan.
Tempting to air a grievance @marcorubio again, but we’ve done that enough for this week. Instead I will say an early Merry Christmas.
— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
Paul’s next grievance took aim at the media.
To my friends in the media, since I know you like to focus on substantive, important, weighty ideas… #AiringOfGrievances — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
The hair is real mine. Don’t know why ur fascinated with it or compare it to alien life forms. #AiringOfGrievances pic.twitter.com/Vl5JvS2h2N
— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
I mean it looks nothing like these things. #AiringOfGrievances pic.twitter.com/hjDqOaOMAl
— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
I am also kinda mad that you seem to think @LyleLovett has better hair than me. #AiringOfGrievances — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
Keeping in line with tradition, Paul’s longest rant was aimed at wasteful spending.
In honor of my good friend @TomCoburn I will now tell u some of my grievances about government waste of YOUR tax $$ #AiringOfGrievances — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
For some reason your government spent your money to learn poop throwing chimps are better communicators. #AiringOfGrievances — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
Your government spent $387,000 of your money on Swedish massages for rabbits. #AiringOfGrievances — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
Your government spent over $300,000 to study synchronized swimming in sea monkeys. Say that 3 times fast. #AiringOfGrievances
— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
Your state dept spent $90 MILLION on cultural exchanges, including state department idol and band camp. #AiringOfGrievances
— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
Last one, because I could do this all day. Your government literally spent $10,000 to watch grass grow. #AiringOfGrievances — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
Taking a break from policy, he derided former Senate Majority Leader Sen. Harry Reid.
To my friend @SenatorReid , wishing you a long and fruitful tenure as minority leader #sorrynotsorry #AiringOfGrievances — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
And alluded to Kentucky Democratic Senate contender Alison Lundergan Grimes’ refusal to admit whether she voted for President Obama in 2008 and 2012.
I am still wondering who @Alison4KY voted for. #AiringOfGrievances — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
He then took a quick break.
If you’re wondering what I look like right now while #AiringOfGrievances is going on, sorta like this… pic.twitter.com/9VVLSKn7QM
— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
And continued on with a few of the government’s more bizarre regulations.
Back to grievances. Along with ridiculous wastes of $ we’ve already aired, the gov’t makes some dumb regulations. #AiringOfGrievances — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
Did you know you could go to jail in DC for 90 days for giving a tour without a license? #AiringOfGrievances (h/t @businessinsider ) — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
And don’t even try to sell raw milk without a license. #AiringOfGrievances
— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
14 million hours will be spent every year to make sure you know how many calories are in vending machine food #AiringOfGrievances
— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
By the way that vending machine regulation is from #Obamacare #AiringOfGrievances. But I would still like to blame Nanny Bloomberg
— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
He went back to the nature of politics.
Politics doesn’t involve enough puppies. People like puppies. #AiringOfGrievances pic.twitter.com/vgOAa5Iqf9 — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
And finally, he tweeted about another favorite, the Fourth Amendment.
4th Amdt Grievance. The Obama Administration’s idea how to deal w/ the Patriot Act and the NSA spying on Americans pic.twitter.com/A0yx2PtsyS — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
FYI for @BarackObama and a few others (you know who you are) here is what it says #AiringOfGrievances pic.twitter.com/rV1YtgG3vs — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
So marks the end of Paul’s Festivus celebration.
The #Festivus #AiringOfGrievances is done. So now, from my family to all of you, have a Merry Christmas! pic.twitter.com/usYgcExwf7
— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
Source material can be found at this site.