The madness of queen Hillary and I’m not standing for it!

By John Burtis

So, I guess we now know, er most of us anyway, at least those of us who watch Fox News and heard Hillary’s latest mea culpa, about the use of her own email system to conduct the foreign affairs of the most powerful nation on earth because she daren’t use “two phones”, when every doggone kid in America, or at least in Beverly Hills and Grosse Isle has three.  Or had three when she was only capable of trundling one Blackberry around and God knows how much they weigh, or even two of them.

And here, or hear, we thought that scion of the Muslim Brotherhood, Hill’s own personal aide d’camp, no, not Eric Hoteham or Eric Hotham, or even Erik the Red, her supposed programmer, I mean Huma Abedin, the woman who was never vetted for the position that allowed the ‘Brotherhood’ a peek into all of our foreign affairs.  Every one.

No longer quite so pretty in pink, back when she threw herself on our heartstrings defending Bill’s shenanigans and making it known that there was a great right wing conspiracy dogging the duo, just as it had in college, in the governor’s mansion, and in the endless swirl of cookies who seemed to descend on poor old oafish Bill like Bluebottle flies on roadkill or on a doggie doolie, culminating in a blue dress, DNA, perjury, and poor old Yasser Arafat left cooling his heels in the garden while Bill and that comely young someone cavorted until, well, until Hillary finally tossed a carved glass Baccarat ashtray at poor smitten Bill, who made the mistake of ducking, sending the high pitched fracas into extra innings according to top people in the security end of things who penned tomes about the torrid love life of the power mad duo, Bill and Hill.  And no, she wasn’t wasn’t baking cookies, not for Bill, if’n he was going to continue carving his way through a damp wall of human flesh.

Nope, Hillary has slipped a bit and had to read the entire screed, nose down, with just the occasional grimace at the assembled press, the gathered satraps, sniveling phonies, Democrat cheerleaders, alleged journalists from what used to be the fourth estate and now what seems to be just a glee club of liberal hacks who have written their stories, as usual, long before this actual event went down in the current hunt and peck and cut and paste method.  But by God at least she had her contacts in and we were spared the 300x magnification of her pupils when she tosses on the spectacles she was sporting during her late, great, “…what difference does it make?!” sermonette over the graves of our hallowed dead – four to be precise if you read the Washington Examiner or watch Fox News.

MSNBC brought in Michael Moore to slander Chris Kyle during the lead in concerning the number of actual dead, or was that a different Hillary day?  I sometimes forget with that unnerving channel, since they report on a bizarro world where the US of A acts as the terrorists and poor old Hamas and Iran’s much maligned Republican Guards have “legitimate” grievances which, thankfully, Mr. Peanut, our own Jimmy Carter, describes ad nauseam in his latest wheezing diatribe against Israel, Dear Leader Barack Obama goes on about the sins of Netanyahu in addressing his agreement with the moolah’s 10 millionth centrifuge, by and through that farsighted genius John Forbes Kerry, the erstwhile medal tossing Winter Soldier and perjurer before the US Senate, who has totally forgotten about Iran’s new and improved, North Korea via China, courtesy of Bill Clinton and the Loral Corporation, ICBM’s.

Hillary is quite proud and made mention, somewhere recently, that she has given some 52,000 emails, culled, she explained in minute detail, from her infinitely indexed memory bank, which was purchased by George Soros and cobbled together by her longtime paladin and yes man, Herr Harold Ickes, back in the Clinton “data mining days”, so it must have all the “bells and whistles and security doo-dads.”

These numbers of hers got me to thinking.  52,000 emails seems like a lot.  But she was just so doggone proud of her four years in the saddle, supported in all by The Clinton Foundation ($2 billion in, 10% out to charity) that I thought I’d plug them in to see just how busy on those long flights from Togoland to Polynesia, over Greenland and the North Pole, Hillary really was.  Low and behold, four years equals some 35,040 hours if my programmable calculator is correct (but Common Core will prove my math wrong and I’m sure that Hillary, Ickes, Soros, and the entire Village will be proven right through some new sleight of hand, I’m sure).  And when you play around with these hours and the total number of emails Hillary is so proud of, it turns out that this ceaseless liberal workaholic was churning out emails at the rate of, oh, about 1.48/hour.  By gosh, by golly, I can push them out in a greater volume than Hillary Clinton, US Secretary of State, with Huma Abedin always at her side, phone’s a ready, while I only have John Bigbootie, possibly John Yaya, or maybe John Smallberries, if I’m lucky, to give me a hand with this so onerous of a doggone task.

I just don’t understand why folks take Hillary so seriously, though.  She’s just a joker – one and half emails an hour.  Tisk, tisk.  And she led off hollering about gender equity, and how she’s always stood for it.  There’s no equity in these numbers, folks, no equity at all.  And I’m not standing for it.

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