If you needed anything to make your daily dose of abortion news any more vile, a new article by abortion advocate Madeleine Roe provides would-be abortion seekers with 20 tips on how they can successfully and guiltlessly terminate their first unborn child.
In the list first published by arts and literature magazine Paper Darts, Roe compares an abortion to “a very deep teeth cleaning,” advising women to get drunk and laugh about “killin’ it” once the deed is all said and done.
“Make the appointment,” she advises in Step Four. “Don’t be offended that the person on the phone doesn’t give a shit. Take the nonchalance as a sign that it is no big deal. It could be a teeth cleaning. A very deep teeth cleaning.”
Roe also tells women to “drink heavily,” then “drink some more” while waiting for their appointment date, assuring them, “You are still not showing. It will be over soon.”
She also gives some insightful perspective on the cost of having an abortion, comparing it to the much higher cost of actually raising a child before reminding the woman of “the cost of that Beyoncé concert ticket you almost bought.”
Having an abortion later into a pregnancy than you’d have liked? That’s okay! Roe advises that when the doctor tells you how many weeks pregnant you are, just “don’t dwell on this number.” It only corresponds to silly, unimportant things like how many pain receptors your unborn child may have.
If you must be burdened by something as guilt-inducing as an ultrasound, Roe assures that “you will see nothing.”
And if you happen to get emotional about the fact that a doctor just vacuumed your child from the safety of your uterus, simply “realize the tears were about hormones and relief.”
Finally, in what is perhaps the most detestable step in Roe’s contemptible list of abortion tips, go home and “make inappropriate jokes about how you were ‘killin’ it’ today and laugh with your friends.”